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Ray

I was raised in a small town in Michigan. I was the middle child of 3 boys in a moderately dysfunctional family. I was fortunate to fall into the Hero role hat afforded me the very best that my family could provide. As a hero child, I was the first to go to college. College opened my eyes and my mind. College also turned out to be the bane of my family. To make along story short, at 38 years old and a new social worker, I learned of the dark secrets my family held. The more I reached out to help the family, the more the pushed me away until, I could not longer have contact with any family members. It's been nearly 30 years now. It's just better that way. As a result, I've focused my career on helping families, especially families with teenagers. I've always worked with teens, since I was 19 years-old I've worked with teens as a teacher, counselor, social worker and psychotherapist. I am still passionate about working with teens and their families, but am focused on working with large groups with multiple families in attendance. Part of my desire to accomplish on this website is to create a place for discussion of families, adolescents, their ever present angst. I want to share with parents of teens some of what the wisdom I've gained from 30 years of working with teenagers and their families. Please visit for awhile. Read some articles, make some comments or share a post with your friends or colleagues. I'm at your service.

Belief is Everything

Belief is everything. For most of my life, I knew I had beliefs, but I didn´t know belief is everything. I didn´t think about my beliefs. I was too busy with my nose to the grindstone. But in 2000, following a particularly grueling therapy session with parents of an adolescent I began to ask the question, ¨What is thought? ¨ For …

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Teens in the News: DIMDD

Teens in the News-DIMDD Teens in the news are Dangerous, In Danger, Missing, Dying or Dead. This is what you find in the media regarding teens in the news. Don´t take my word for it, Google ¨Teens¨ and see what you get. I´m on a mission to shift the common perspective on teenagers that our media presents to the public. This …

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Inner Peace and Parenting Teens? Yeah, right!

Remember inner peace? Remember feeling calm and serenity? That was a long time ago. Now you have a teenager, maybe more than one. Are you craving some serenity or a moment of tranquility? If you are convinced that inner peace and parenting teens are mutually exclusive, then I’ve got great news for you. The peace train has arrived and your teen doesn’t need to do anything. ¨Yeah right!¨ …

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Imagination Beyond Limits

Imagination beyond limits is my calling, my mantra and my message to you. Everyone has an imagination, but most pay no attention to it. Imagination is everything. It´s the biggest thing in the Universe. In fact, it´s bigger than the Universe. Is there anything you cannot put into your imagination? You may say, ¨I can´t imagine this.¨ or ¨I don´t …

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Compelled to Write

Compelled to write? That’s right. I’m compelled to write. I’m compelled to write in ways that help you. How am I doing this? By writing. By exploring the limits of my imagination and encouraging you to do the same. I’m writing about personal divine experiences and asking you to share yours. I’m writing about God and spirituality, love and loss, parents and …

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How to Set Limits with Your Teen

Set Limits with Your Teen

Do you need to set limits with your teen? Do shivers run down your spine every time you think about it? Do you quietly wish and pray that you never have to set limits; that somehow your teen will suddenly start following the rules? Most parents agree,  it’s a real challenge to set limits with your teenager day in and day out, but …

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Schools Out for Summer

School’s out for summer, school’s out forever. Alice Cooper sang these words in 1972 as I, along with the crowd in Kalamazoo, MI shouted along with him, “School’s out for summer!” This song is the musical version of a thundering herd of teenagers crashing through the school’s front door and into the sunlit summer streets with the voice of freedom ringing …

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10 Critical Life Skills for Teens

These 10 critical life skills for teens represent everything you are responsible for teaching your kids. Your teen needs these skills before they leave home. There is no order of importance, but some will carry more weight than others. You and your teen decide which ones are most important to work on now. Don’t hesitate. Begin these lessons to your household today …

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Dating and Sexuality

Yes – talking with your teen about dating and sexuality IS uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable for everyone involved, but your teen’s future ambitions and quality of life may depend upon you having some form of “The Talk” with your teen. Many parents put off these talks with their children throughout their lives. Then, suddenly, there is a teenager in the house …

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Peer Pressure

Everyone feels peer pressure. This problem is not just for teens. Everyone feels peer pressure. You feel peer pressure, I feel peer pressure. Peer pressure is built into society, all societies. If you don’t want to feel peer pressure you could become a hermit but, what would all the other hermits say? I recommend another approach to peer pressure. Peer pressure is …

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Drug and Alcohol Use and Abuse

Know the difference between teen drug or alcohol use and the abuse of drugs. Drug and alcohol use and abuse may be the biggest perceived problem for teens in the US today. The thought of your dear sweet child taking drugs sends shivers down your spine and it should. As a general rule, drugs and alcohol are equally bad for the …

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5 Steps to Ending Angry Outbursts

Angry outbursts are a problem in every household. There are families where angry outbursts are so common that it is considered normal. In these families there is no safety for anyone. There are other families where anger is never expressed. In these families the anger goes underground. Your family may fall somewhere in between. Whenever an angry outburst occurs your first impulse is to do what …

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