Adolescent Aggression Understood

Adolescent Aggression Understood

Today, I am writing about adolescent aggression. Not the kind of aggression you see on the news or read about in the paper. I’m talking normal kids who, at times are a real pain in the rear. I want to help you help them do just a little bit better for themselves and for others. There is a big difference between aggression and violence. Adolescent aggression is driven from within and it is developmentally necessary. Adolescent violence, on the...

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Parenting Teens and Clutter: Isn’t that Redundant?

Parenting Teens and Clutter: Isn’t that Redundant?

If you are parenting teenagers, then you probably have noticed that it is almost the Forth of July, (again) and your teen has done nothing about their room (again). It is completely disorganized. I know that parenting teens is challenging so let me share something I’ve learned: teens are clutter magnets. This is the nature of the beast. There may be some teens that are pretty good at keeping clutter down and being organized, but they make...

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Play 20 Questions and Communicate with Your Teen

Play 20 Questions and Communicate with Your Teen

Today, I’m asking you to play 20 questions and communicate with your teen. Most parents play 20 questions with their teens, but instead of opening up communication, this version of 20 questions is more like the Spanish Inquisition. Each question forces a wedge deeper and deeper into the relationship. As a result, secrecy increases and discussion dies. Don’t let questions be a source of pain for your teen. In my last posting I stressed...

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5 Secrets to Setting Limits with Your Teen

5 Secrets to Setting Limits with Your Teen

You are probably like most parents of teenagers; with some days better than others. Wouldn’t you like to have more good days? Wouldn’t you like to have a few good days in a row? Limit setting is a real challenge for all parents and that’s why you need to know the secrets to setting limits with your teen. What if it’s too late? You and your teen are embroiled in numerous power struggles, mostly over really stupid stuff, which...

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Inner Peace and Parenting Teens-Yeah, Right!

Are you the parent of a teenager? Do you crave a moment of peace and quiet? Do you believe that inner peace and parenting teens are mutually exclusive? Well, I’ve got good news for you. The peace train has arrived and your teen doesn’t need to do anything. Yeah, right! you say, but I insist. It’s true! Stay with me; by the end of this article I hope to make the argument that you can be the parent of a raging hoard of Mongols and...

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The Negativity Bias with Teenagers

The Negativity Bias with Teenagers

Why are people so negative when it comes to teenagers? Is there a negativity bias with teenagers? Turns out that there is a negativity bias, but it is not limited to teenagers. All of us have a built in bias to respond to negative news more than positive news and as a result, we look at the world and expect bad things to happen. This is NOT good for us and it is not good for teens. Our predisposition to danger and pain protected us for...

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Attention Deficit Disorder: Liability or Strength?-Part 3

Attention Deficit Disorder: Liability or Strength?-Part 3

Attention Deficit Disorder was a strength for me at that time and life was good. Now don’t go thinking that there is a happy ending here, because there is none. Problems developed in our relationship that eventually overwhelmed both of us and after 15 years, my partner abruptly announced her departure and moved out.  I was devastated. (Did I mention that people with ADD also have problems in relationship? Oh, we work hard in relationships...

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Attention Deficit Disorder: Liability or Strength?-Part 2

Attention Deficit Disorder: Liability or Strength?-Part 2

It was a good thing I didn’t know I had attention deficit disorder or I may never have gone to college. Lessons learned there went beyond the classroom. After graduating from high school I got a summer job with General Motors and worked beside the other ‘factory rats’ on the assembly line in the body shop. My station was in a pit 4 feet deep where I spot welded the well wells and rocker panels of 1970 Cadillacs and Buick La...

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Attention Deficit Disorder: A Liability or Strength? Part I

Attention Deficit Disorder: A Liability or Strength? Part I

I was compelled to write an article on Attention Deficit Disorder, but by the time I was finished it was much too long to present as a blog post. Therefore, I have edited it into a 3 Part Series about the trials, tribulations and triumphs of an adult with ADD (Me). Please let me know if you like it. I am 63 years-old in June this year and once again, I’ve packed my bags and headed out on the road. No, I’m not going on a trip and no,...

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The Self Fulfilling Prophecy

The Self Fulfilling Prophecy

“I knew that would happen”, she said following her description of the latest event with her 15 year-old son Jacob. I had been working with the family for several months and although there were some successes, the family remained stuck within a major problem area. Unfortunately, they were caught up in a cycle of predicting negative outcomes and creating a self fulfilling prophecy. It wasn’t just the mother, everyone predicted failure in one...

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