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Compelled to Write

Compelled to write?

RayThat’s right. I’m compelled to write. I’m compelled to write in ways that help you. How am I doing this? By writing. By exploring the limits of my imagination and encouraging you to do the same. I’m writing about personal divine experiences and asking you to share yours. I’m writing about God and spirituality, love and loss, parents and teens, hopes and dreams. If I write about you or someone you know, then know I am doing it with love and compassion. Yes, I’m compelled to write and my deepest hope is that it helps you.

Moved to Costa Rica.

Don GatoLast December we moved. It was all or nothing. My lovely wife, Mercedes was born and raised in Costa Rica and in 2009 she moved to the US to marry me. We knew one day we would return. That day was December 6th, 2015. We sold our home, our wonderful home, our not so wonderful, but reliable car (a 2004 Nissan Frontier), most of our personal belongings and flew to San Jose, Costa Rica along with our cat (Don Gato). He was the first to see his new country because we missed the flight. Our check-in was painfully long and much more complicated and expensive than we expected. When we finally arrived to the gate, our plane and our cat was leaving the concourse and making its way towards the runway. The next flight was 24 hours later. Poor Gato. Every day the adventure continues.

This article is about expressing my desire to help. I’ve always tried to be helpful. Hell, I made a career out of helping and sometimes, my attempts to help were not so helpful. Anybody with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) knows exactly what I mean. Helping is not as easy as you may think. Especially if the person you are helping doesn’t believe they need help. We’ve probably all been there. Relationships can crash and burn when you try to help people who don’t want your help or who don’t see a problem.

Living in Costa Rica.

Airplane LandingMy plan was to settle in and begin to write. That time has come. I am writing regular articles and reworking my book, Ten Tips to Tame Your Teen: Strategies That Work! Not enough parents know about this wonderful book. I am giving it a fresh look, a makeover you might say and it is being published later this summer. There are a couple more books in my mind as well. I’m also reviewing books that have changed my life or given me reprise from it. I am compelled to write too many words and because everyone’s attention span has gotten shorter, I painstakingly edit my articles. If they are too wordy they challenge your need to read. At least they challenge mine.

Yes, I’m compelled to write and I hope my words reflect some truth for you. My heart is no different than your heart or the hearts of millions of people who have loved and lost and loved again. Ours is the human experience and I’m compelled to write about it. For me, writing is the best way to help you and help others. I want my words to make you to laugh, make you cry and make you feel for your own heart. I want to remind you to love fearlessly and ferociously. I want to reflect the beauty that is within you and hopefully, you will feel better, better about yourself and better about the world. This is why I’m compelled to write.

This is your time to live.

FireworksThis is the time to celebrate your life and all that you are. I hope my words, inspire you, console you, motivate you and help you to connect with that part of you that knows. That God part of you. Yes, I’m compelled to write and if you are compelled to read this dribble, then good for you. I hope it helps. Please pass it along.

With love and affection,


About Ray

I was raised in a small town in Michigan. I was the middle child of 3 boys in a moderately dysfunctional family. I was fortunate to fall into the Hero role hat afforded me the very best that my family could provide. As a hero child, I was the first to go to college. College opened my eyes and my mind. College also turned out to be the bane of my family. To make along story short, at 38 years old and a new social worker, I learned of the dark secrets my family held. The more I reached out to help the family, the more the pushed me away until, I could not longer have contact with any family members. It's been nearly 30 years now. It's just better that way. As a result, I've focused my career on helping families, especially families with teenagers. I've always worked with teens, since I was 19 years-old I've worked with teens as a teacher, counselor, social worker and psychotherapist. I am still passionate about working with teens and their families, but am focused on working with large groups with multiple families in attendance. Part of my desire to accomplish on this website is to create a place for discussion of families, adolescents, their ever present angst. I want to share with parents of teens some of what the wisdom I've gained from 30 years of working with teenagers and their families. Please visit for awhile. Read some articles, make some comments or share a post with your friends or colleagues. I'm at your service.

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