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Inner Peace and Parenting Teens? Yeah, right!

Remember inner peace? Remember feeling calm and serenity? That was a long time ago. Now you have a teenager, maybe more than one.

Are you craving some serenity or a moment of tranquility?

If you are convinced that inner peace and parenting teens are mutually exclusive, then I’ve got great news for you.

The peace train has arrived and your teen doesn’t need to do anything. ¨Yeah right!¨ No, it’s true!

Stay with me and I guarantee you can have inner peace any time you want, even if you are the parent of a raging hoard of adolescent Mongols.

Impossible you say? No, not impossible at all.

Step 1 – Begin with Yourself

Me FirstIf you want to have inner peace and be an effective parent of teenagers you must begin with yourself. Make the decision to take full responsibility for your life.

This includes your emotional life; your thoughts, your feelings, your moods, your beliefs, your attitude, and everything you experience. Everything.

This may sound silly or ridiculous, but inner peace begins when you take full personal responsibility for yourself. It may not feel like it, but your teen is not responsible for your mood.

When you are at peace you have no conflict with anyone or anything, including yourself.

Step 2 – Believe you already have inner peace

BelieveInner peace is a state of mind, waiting for you, any time you want it.

You know what it´s like. That’s why you want more of it. We all want more peace in our lives, but most people go about it all wrong.

Choose to be peaceful, choose to be patient. Choose to be understanding and kind. Not so simple? Oh contraire, try it.

Most people believe their environment needs to be peaceful in order to have inner peace. Teenagers make this an unlikely possibility.

Inner peace begin within.

Step 3 – Examine your Thoughts

Same Old ThinkingNegativity needs to be vanquished from your mind. Negativity disrupts happiness and contentment and therefore blocks your access to serenity.

A negative person is not happy nor are they content. Start with your thoughts. Examine the contents of your mind and eliminate any negative thoughts and beliefs that you hold onto.

Make a conscious choice to be at peace; no matter what is going on in your environment. You just need to decide.

What do you want? Serenity or insanity? You get to choose.

Step 4 – Take One Minute

MeditateYou don’t need special clothing. You don’t need a guru or special classes to parent teenagers and have inner peace.

You don’t need to get rid of your teenagers, but that may not be a bad idea once in a while. All you really need is to take 1 minute and 3 breaths to create peacefulness within you.

I call it Belly-Breathing. Go ahead, try it.

Close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, clear your mind and breathe….

Watch how the breath comes in through your nose and down into your lungs. Take the breath as deep as you can while allowing your stomach to expand.

Release the breath slowly and allow your muscles to relax. These are called Belly-Breaths. Do this 2 more times. It takes about 1 minute to breathe deeply 3 times.

Did you notice your body responding to each breath? Did you notice how the muscle tension softened and you felt more relaxed? Did you notice how your mind quieted and those pesky negative thoughts disappeared for 1 minute?

Step 5 – Be Vigilant with Your Thoughts

Examining ThoughtsYou must be vigilant to maintain a positive state of mind and your inner peace.

Remind yourself to pause several times a day and Belly Breathe. With each Belly-Breath savor the moment and the inner peace that comes with it.

Now that you know how to create your calm any time you wish. You might even start to meditate and who knows, before long you´ll be merging onto the inner peace super highway.

With Love and Affection,


About Ray

I was raised in a small town in Michigan. I was the middle child of 3 boys in a moderately dysfunctional family. I was fortunate to fall into the Hero role hat afforded me the very best that my family could provide. As a hero child, I was the first to go to college. College opened my eyes and my mind. College also turned out to be the bane of my family. To make along story short, at 38 years old and a new social worker, I learned of the dark secrets my family held. The more I reached out to help the family, the more the pushed me away until, I could not longer have contact with any family members. It's been nearly 30 years now. It's just better that way. As a result, I've focused my career on helping families, especially families with teenagers. I've always worked with teens, since I was 19 years-old I've worked with teens as a teacher, counselor, social worker and psychotherapist. I am still passionate about working with teens and their families, but am focused on working with large groups with multiple families in attendance. Part of my desire to accomplish on this website is to create a place for discussion of families, adolescents, their ever present angst. I want to share with parents of teens some of what the wisdom I've gained from 30 years of working with teenagers and their families. Please visit for awhile. Read some articles, make some comments or share a post with your friends or colleagues. I'm at your service.

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